Have you ever noticed that your inadequacies tend to be glaring to everyone, including yourself, but that the solutions to them are only obvious to others? This fact is infuriating.
I don't have a ton of friends. I have very few, actually. Sure, there are lots of people in my life peripherally that I could casually call a friend, but the number of people who know me at my core, who love me despite the weaknesses they are well acquainted with - it's small. Like count on one hand and have room to spare small. And I hold them tightly because vulnerability is the hardest thing for me and when it's given, it isn't lightly.
Today, though, I envy those who can have many friends, lightly held. I think it lends itself well to accepting change and moving onward.
Today, I want to learn to be gracious rather than true to myself. I'm a polarizing force, as people in my life keep reminding me, and I want to be gracious when the magnets don't attract. Truth has become easy for me, and instead of being true, I want to extend kindness and mercy and welcome when I don't feel any of those things. I want to emulate Christ in this way, but I don't know how.
Today, I need the grace for graciousness.